06/15/2005
Knowing it all
"I can eat this coffee cake, because it has cinnamon, which is supposed to metabolize sugar at something like 15 times it's weight." The words were out of my mouth long before I knew what I was saying.
"Really? You know, you don't need to make excuses. You can just eat it. We won't tell." said the guy next to me.
We were in an employee appreciation event at work, but the scene could have been played out any one of five thousand times in my life. In a social situation, rather than asking questions and getting to know others, which is the way to win friends and influence people (ask Dale Carnegie - or read his book. See, I did it again.), I find myself spouting facts.
I realized the other day that I've cursed my two sweet little girls with this "gift". How sad that such innocence is marred with the grimy tar of know-it-allness.
When you are compelled to know-it-all, you seem to justify your existence by the mass of knowledge you can accumulate, digest, and regurgitate. Gathering knowledge is good, but sharing it with others is sooooo much better.
Can't I bring this thing under control? As the wise man said, "Better to close your mouth and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." Some have attributed this quote to Mark Twain (Original name: Samuel Clemmons. The Mark Twain comes from a sounding done on riverboats in the Mississippi river during Twain's youth. "Mark, Twain!" meant they had measured the river, and it was two fathoms deep. OUCH! There I go again!). Others suggest it is a paraphrase of Proverbs 17:28: "Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue." (New International Version)
Okay, I'm losing control.
Someone at work found a dollar, and I sent an e-mail to all our employees so the loser (sorry) could pick it up in HR. Another employee responded that they had lost money and it was green with pictures of dead presidents on it. I asked if they knew who was on a $100. They said "Ben, but who is burried in Grant's tomb?", and I knew that U.S. Grant's first name wasn't Ulysses, so I googled the name and found out it was actually Hiram, so I had to tell them.
It's a sickness, I tell you.
HELP!
13:00 Posted in About Life , Funny | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
06/08/2005
Need a laugh?
Blogging dad Scott Lyons of Swept Over has a great and funny post that you won't want to read while eating.
You've been warned.
11:58 Posted in Blog , Blogging Dads , Funny | Permalink | Comments (3) | Email this